Zero latency. Infinite judgment. Runs smoother than your life.
*Monitoring Your Bullsh*t Since Startup
Tech-inspired apparel with just enough attitude to make people look twice.
System Online Beanie
Hats & Beanies
Front: System Online. Under brim: Monitoring Your Bullsh*t Since Startup*
F.R.I.D.A.Y. Powered Tee
Tees & Crops
Chest:
I Don't Crash Crop Top
Tees & Crops
Chest (bold): "I don't crash. You do." Sleeve tag: Powered by
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Runs smoother than your life. Our system responds faster than your ex ignores your texts.
Your data is protected by military-grade encryption and an AI with trust issues.
Coded worse, performs better. Our algorithms judge your decisions so you don't have to.
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